I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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