The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
