M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
