Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
