Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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