Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
