i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
