it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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