I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
