I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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