I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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