they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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