just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
