i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize