My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize