Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
