she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
