I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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