New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
