all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
