I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
