I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize