She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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