Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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