We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
