you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
