I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
