nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
why do cheetos always look like penises
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
