shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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