North Korea, Best Korea!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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