Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i dont even know how to be here
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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