What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
