I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Soap is not a condiment
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
