I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize