ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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