I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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