He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
