I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
