Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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