are you still at the devil's house?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
