I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
