you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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