If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize