No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
