i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the day after is always just damage control
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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