clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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