so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
