She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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