the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
