My room smells like vodka and shame
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize