Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
