So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
