gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
