You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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