I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
