How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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