I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize