is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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