I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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